I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
