He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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