I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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