i need an iv and a liver transplant
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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