I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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