oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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