We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
