I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
