it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
