Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
