Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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