sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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