we made out on top of his cat.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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