Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
