I've blown a few things in my day
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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