I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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