Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
worst night to have a conscience
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
