I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
