just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
