ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
