I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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