I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
