My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
