he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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