Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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