do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
