it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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