She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
