You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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