We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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