The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize