he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
