never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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