fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
