In the future we'll all be gay
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
