Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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