Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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