And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
