You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
