I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
