I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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