I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
