how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
