puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
