I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
