Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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