I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
