With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
