im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
