You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She bit a glass in half.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
