I love having hate sex.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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