I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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