Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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