is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My balls are so social today.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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